Scarred
by Silent Nurse
Summary: CM Punk's girlfriend is keeping a secret, a secret that she's been hiding from everyone, she fears this secret will send him packing once he knows the truth. A pairing with my OC and the Straight Edge Hero.


**Scarred**

**Disclaimer: I own the idea and my OC. I am only borrowing CM Punk/ Phil Brooks.**

****Author's Note: this is based on my feelings during my mother's fight with cancer. I just had to write it. I know the WWE talent is coming across very out of character but I hope this doesn't offend you all too greatly. Constructive criticism is welcomed but flames are not appreciated, especially the campers who like to remain anonymous. **

"Phil, please stop," Violet whispered into her boyfriend's hair.

A muffle was the only reply.

"Phil…," she repeated.

"You know I can't get enough of you, you're so beautiful," came Phil's breathy reply from against Violet's collar bone.

The pair had been watching movies since they came back from a lunch where they had the chance to meet some of their fans and soon became wrapped up in each other. The third movie of the evening had been long since forgotten as the credits slowly rolled and faded to the main menu. It's not that his lips didn't feel good; it was more that she was afraid of his advances going further down.

"Your skin is so warm and smooth Vi, just let make you feel good," Phil said as he placed teasing kisses along the base of his girlfriend's neck as he stroked the top of her thigh through her jeans.

Violet tried to ignore the pleasant sensations her boyfriend was causing on her skin, but the fight was becoming harder and soon she gave in, stroking his hair and back, enjoying what he was doing and waiting for her chance to reciprocate.

"I thought you weren't one to engage in promiscuous sex Mr. Straight-Edge," Violet teased as Phil sucked on the area where her pulse was beating frantically as she threw her head back and closed her eyes in pleasure.

"Making out hardly counts as promiscuous sex Vi," Phil chuckled as he licked down to the top of Violet's button down shirt.

Violet hadn't noticed that Phil had undone her top button until he kissed the newly freed flesh. There were warning bells going through Violet's mind but she ignored them as she stroked her boyfriend's back. Suddenly her eyes flew opened. Her second button was undone and Phil was moving down quickly.

"Phil please stop," Violet said trying to keep calm.

"But you taste like-"

"Now, Phil! Stop!" she screamed as she sat up, pushing him away.

"Vi, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I've gotta go, I need to get to bed, I have a match tomorrow. I'll see you later," she said as she grabbed her shoes and purse.

The door slammed leaving the Straight-Edge superstar alone in the glow of the main menu of their last movie.

****The Next Morning****

Violet managed to make it to the hotel lobby without being stopped by anybody. The memories of the previous evening made her eyes crinkle in confused concentration as she tried to convince herself that she did the right thing. Stopping Phil was definitely the best decision. She walked to the closest McDonald's to sit down and eat as she wrote her thoughts in her ever present journal. As she entered she locked eyes with none other than her boyfriend.

'Damn it all! The one person I wanted to avoid the most and here he is; now I have to give him some type of explanation.'

She offered a weak smile in his direction before she went up to the cashier to order. The whole time she felt his steady gaze on her back. She didn't sit with him as she waited for her food; rather she waited near the front counter hoping to stall. When she could stall no more she waited until he invited her to sit down, taking the seat across from him.

She studied his face as she chewed her sandwich. He looked tired as if he hadn't slept the night before. She swallowed and was about to speak when he beat her to it.

"I'm sorry. I went too far and made you uncomfortable. I know that sex and intimacy are important to you and I want you to know that I am willing to wait until you are more at ease. As long as you are happy and maybe make out with me once in a while," he finished with a small smile.

She reached across the table to grab one of his hands, "Thanks Phil."

They spent the rest of their time there eating and smiling to each other. Violet's mind was spinning however; she felt the growing need to tell Phil what was bothering her, what had been bothering her since she was eighteen.

****Later That Night****

"I'll see you after the show tonight love, my match is gonna start soon," Violet said as she made to get off of Phil's lap.

"I'm sure you can spare a few more seconds to kiss me good-bye," he said as he pulled her back down.

"Fine, but you only get one, I know you're gonna try keeping me here until the last minute again."

"Fine, one, but make it count," he requested with a slight pout.

As expected Phil deepened the kiss until Violet almost forgot why she had to leave. Smiling she broke the kiss and took off to the gorilla before she could be convinced into staying later in the warm bubble that was CM Punk's locker room.

'It's been six months into this relationship and he still acts like a horny teen,' Violet though with a small smile as she walked.

The match was heated. Alicia Fox was out for blood that night and with good reason; Violet had cost her the Women's Championship just one month ago and now she was paying for it. She wasn't sure how much more she could take. She didn't have much more fuel left in her. Violet was so sore and tired, she didn't even think to block the sparkly boot that came toward her face. And then that damn bell rang. That bell rang and she was still on the ground. She lost but at least she could go to the hotel and rest.

Phil was backstage to greet her and carry her back to his locker room. He loved the way she felt in his arms. She was so light and even covered in sweat he thought she was beautiful. He couldn't help but smile at the way her eyelids kept fluttering open whenever they turned a corner.

"Baby I tried to win, I really did," the tired woman whispered into her boyfriend's shoulder.

"I know sweetheart and you did great, but just try to relax okay. As soon as you take a shower I'll take you to get some French toast. Just let me take care of you."

"Okay," she said in a small voice.

Back in the locker room Phil started the shower for his sore girlfriend and set out her clothes on the couch. While she was washing up he decided to pick up on his latest book. He was a few pages along when he heard a scream from the bathroom. Phil abandoned the novel and hurried to the steamy room.

"Violet, are you okay? Are you hurt?" he asked, afraid that she had hit her head and wouldn't answer.

"Phil stay back," came her shaky reply. "I'm fine. Just go."

"Violet you are not fine; you are sprawled out on the bathroom floor. Did you slip? Here let me help-"Phil stopped as he took in the scene before him.

Violet's long legs were dangling inside the tub being sprayed from the shower head while the shower curtain was tangled around then. The rest of her body was flat on the floor. He whole body was glistening, her hair splayed around her head like a river of rich chocolate. The curves of her hips and waist made his breathing hitch a bit with desire as his eyes trailed to her chest. Her chest was rising with her breathing, but where her left breast should have been was an angry looking scar. The realization that she was missing a breast gave him a sinking feeling deep in his stomach that dropped well below his waist and caused a painful squeeze in his boxers. The last part of her that he took in was her eyes. They were darker than usual and they were shining with tears that spilled sideways down her cheeks and onto the floor beneath her.

Silently he helped her dry off and dress. They said very little to each other. On the drive to the hotel they stopped only once to get her French toast.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Phil said with a rushed kiss to her forehead as he waited for her to walk into her hotel room.

"Yeah," was the reply she mumbled.

Violet forgot the toast and cried herself to sleep that night.

****The Next Day****

Phil was on the treadmill that afternoon. He always hit the gym as soon as he got to a new state. He found it helped to break the boredom of the trip to the new destination. He hadn't slept that night, he was too worried about Violet, and he wanted to talk but was afraid of pushing her. He felt so useless. Here his girlfriend was hurting but all he managed to do was stare at her. Before he left the hotel for breakfast he sent her a room service breakfast with a rose and small note which read: I'm here.

He was hoping that she'd appreciate the gesture and eat the food. He hoped that she would understand that he was willing to wait for her and she'd open up soon. He was worried about her. It seemed obvious that she had been hiding this for quite some time. Phil left the gym feeling beat down and numb.

Luckily there was nothing planned for the RAW superstars that day so Violet was able to avoid Phil. She was scared, she was afraid that her boyfriend was going to leave her. He wouldn't want a freak for a girlfriend. He would want a perfect little doll with boobs that were the size of his head now that he knew she was missing a crucial part of her womanhood. He wouldn't care for her, Miss Monster of the Year. With a heavy sigh she showered and changed. The room was a cocoon of self-pity and she decided to escape it for a while. As soon as she rounded the corner she came across Barbie, known on RAW as Kelly Kelly.

"Vi, hi I haven't seen you since the plane. If you have a minute I'd like your opinion on some new clothes," the bottle blonde gushed, grabbing Violet's hand and leading her to her hotel room.

The room was a standard hotel room that had seen the heavy hand of Barbie's touch. There was a heavy, lingering scent that Violet recognized as lavender, which she normally found soothing but it did nothing but make her nauseous. The hot pink bed covers that belong to Barbie made Violet feel hot as light from the window touch the bed and made it and the rest of the room glow as if on fire. The sparkly crystals on the lid of her MacBook Air which sat closed on the middle of the glowing bed sent dizzying lights up to the celling. There was a mountain of clothes on a chair and the blonde diva was down to her underwear as she reached for a low cut dress with one sleeve.

The dress fit perfectly but the blonde was still finding flaws. This was nothing new for Violet; she was used to hearing her girlfriends doing this, she herself occasionally did this before she went out.

"My boobs look so flat in this dress," Barbie complained as she turned to evaluate her cleavage further.

The room seemed to lack enough oxygen in that moment. Violet had to leave, she couldn't listen to her vain friend complain about her breasts while Violet was just coming to terms that her boyfriend just found out that she only had one. There was no way she'd walk out of the room as friends with the woman before her if she didn't leave immediately.

The door slammed shut before Barbie could finish getting the dress off, leaving her alone in her glowing disco room wearing only her underwear.

Violet managed to make it around the corner to the elevator when she saw Phil coming her way with Sheamus beside him. She barely managed to slip on to the lift and close the door before Phil realized she was behind them.

"She's really upset," Phil said sadly.

"How do you know, you didn't even make eye contact?" Sheamus asked in concern.

"She hates elevators. She almost never takes them when she's alone."

****Later That Evening****

Violet opened the door to her room ready to curl up on her bed. She had been out walking around the city all day. She managed to distract herself with a great thrift shop but then she had to leave after spending a few hours and dollars there. Setting her bags down she looked up to see her boyfriend reading on her bed. She knew this was coming sooner or later.

"I won't ask how you got in here. I only ask that you wait until I am finished before you speak. I won't hide from you anymore but I need to be able to speak without having to stop."

With a nod he put the book aside and waited for her to begin.

She took a shaky breath and sat down. She was afraid but she knew this was the best thing for her to do.

"When I was fifteen my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer though I didn't know it until two months before she had surgery. Actually now that I'm older I think I knew about her condition. She was thinner and she was losing her hair, not to mention that conversations turned into ribbons of whispers anytime I walked into a room. Ha, ribbon, just like my mom, she was so delicate to begin with, she was just like an old lace ribbon. A few months later my mom left for two weeks. I didn't know where she was, I just knew she was gone and that my aunt had seen her off early one morning. She didn't come back for two weeks and no one was even there to greet her. We all had school or work and she walked in alone and in pain and probably hungry- with three teens food was hard to come by sometimes.

"She had gotten a mastectomy. She would sometimes lift her shirt to show the scar and I would cringe because I was ashamed. Ashamed, fascinated, and disgusted. My stomach twists at the thought of her showing her scar. I felt angry at her. I thought she was showing it off as a scar of bravery and then I thought she was only doing it for sympathy. It took me a few weeks to understand that everyone wants and needs a little sympathy once in a while. I felt ashamed for not wanting to give her sympathy. Even the hug I gave her was strange, but of course my family was never that affectionate with each other. We never hugged and when my grandma told us she loved us we never replied, we just left the room.

"After she recovered our relationship reverted to the way it was before. There was a lot of fighting but it was familiar. I was a bit kinder to her but it never lasted. After that year I was doing the lump check more often. For six months after I finished a period I would check. I would check in the shower even before a period. I was always afraid to check, afraid that if I went searching I would find something. A few months after I turned eighteen my doctor told me that there was a lump in my left breast. I went through the early stages with hope, I caught the lump early and I would be fine. However the cancer spread and my boob was a lost cause. Anyone who wasn't a doctor or close family didn't know what I went through. I was lucky that I didn't lose enough hair to draw attention.

"When I was twenty I started stuffing my bras. I was tired of living in self-pity as I had done when I was nineteen. I never spoke a word of what had happened to me. I didn't want anyone to see me. I'm not a whole person Phil, my womanhood was taken from me and I was turned into a monster. The simple things that I never did because I was too young or timid, the simple things like wearing a bikini top or being able to look at my body naked, actually see my body without flinching, I can't do things like that. I live in constant fear that I am going to lose more parts to cancer. I was only eighteen the first time, I was only eighteen! I pushed you away that night because you were getting too close to my scar, too close to realizing that you were dating a freak and I like you so much that I wasn't ready to let that go. I know it wasn't fair and before you break up with me I just want to say that I cherished every second I spent with you Phillip Brooks. I thank you for giving me some happiness and I'm sorry that I wasn't completely honest with you."

She finished and sat quiet as she tried to stop the twin river of tears that flowed to her chin.

After several long minutes Phil finally spoke, "I'm sorry for what happened to you. You were so young, you were just a kid. I never realized what you were going through but why would you think I want to break up with you?"

At his question Violet looked up. Phil's eyes were ringed with red and the tip of his nose was also reddish. She had never seen him so vulnerable and it confused her.

"Violet in case you haven't noticed in the six months that we have been together I am not like most guys. The fact that we only had sex twice doesn't faze me. The fact that it was pretty much in total darkness didn't matter to me because I just wanted to make you happy. All that matters to me is that I get to spend my time with an amazing girl like you. You haven't lost your womanhood Vi, your womanhood is what makes me have to catch my breath when you laugh. Or the way your eyes light up when you argue about something you feel strongly about. It's what makes you the sweet, kindhearted, stubborn and over all amazing woman that you are now. Your womanhood is what keeps me thanking everything I can think of thanking that you agreed to be my girlfriend. I love you Violet Daniels."

Violet's eyes snapped back up to Phil's face. He loved her, but that was impossible. She wasn't right, she was flawed, he couldn't possible love her. He said it now but would regret it in the morning. Pity and the fear of hurting someone's feelings could make you say anything.

"You can't love me. You just pity me," Violet choked out, her throat thick with emotion.

"Violet Isabelle Daniels if I didn't love you I wouldn't bother to ask why you were so upset. I never would have waited for you to tell me, I would have demanded to know. Hell, if I were just like everyone else I wouldn't have stayed once I found out we wouldn't be "at it like rabbits", but I didn't leave. I stayed because I love you. I love you more than anyone I've ever known," he stood up and walked to her, never taking his eyes off of her.

"Vi, take my hand, please."

She hesitated only once as she put her hand in his. He led her to the bed and wrapped his arms around her. She cried into his shoulder as he rubbed her back. Never had she felt so vulnerable, scared, angry, and safe. She was used to hiding her vulnerability because it was nothing but ammunition for the world to use to break her. The couple stayed that way well into the early morning. It wasn't until Violet remembered that they had a house show to prepare for did Phil pull back the covers and fall asleep with the woman he loved. In his twenty-seven years he had never been in love but he just knew. He knew she was different. He could feel it deep in his bones that he would never let pain come to her if he could help it.

****The Next Day****

The superstars started preparing for the show that was to begin in a few hours. Phil wasn't scheduled to have a match so he was free to stay in his street clothing as he waited for his in ring interview. Violet however, had a match tagging with Kelly Kelly and had gone to change.

Violet went into the locker room to change. She had just finished adjusting her top when two more girls entered the room. She looked down at herself. She was always grateful that her tops never went too low. The media would have a field day if her scar was shown and she would be humiliated. She had just gone to grab her boots when she heard her tag partner complaining again.

"My boobs are so flat, I barely have cleavage," Kelly complained loudly.

Violet stopped, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. The golden girl of the WWE was complaining about her boobs while Violet tried to be happy with just one. She looked up to see Kelly and Gail Kim talking while Kelly turned to check her top.

"Vi, will you hand me that bronzer please?" she asked.

"Yeah," Violet replied grabbing her shoes and the bronzer. She had to get out of there or she felt she'd crack. It just wasn't fair. She never complained about her breasts even through her awkward teen years but one of them tried to kill her and now she was stuck with just one. She wondered if fate took her left one because she tended to favor her that one. She was always more careful with it since it guarded her heart and cancer had turned it into a traitor.

She walked to Kelly and put the can of golden brown powder in her hands.

"Thanks Vi, I don't know how you manage to look so great, even in high necklines your boobs just seem to pop," thee blonde vixen said as she applied powder to the tops of her breasts, "As for me I have to make a great looking cleavage, you're so lucky."

Violet had had enough.

"Shut up Barbra! Just shut the hell up!" the locker room went silent at the sound of the brunette screaming at her partner. Divas gathered around near the door to hear what was being said, all pretenses of minding their own business gone. Barbie's face was a mask of shock and anger, her brown eyes glittering with surprise.

"You sit around bitching about how flat you D boobs are while you parade around your fans bringing insecurities to girls everywhere but that's not entirely your fault, the same can be said of all of us in here," if they were going to listen she would put them in her argument.

"But don't dare you talk about me and my boobs "popping". You wanna know how they look so great? Here," Violet screamed as she fumbled in her top for a minute, "I stuff my bra you daft bimbo because I lost my left breast to cancer when I was eighteen, I never had a chance to do the bitching that you do because I had to keep from crying," she screamed as she threw the stuffing from the bra and the bronze powder at Barbie's face.

The locker room went silent. The silence grew and took on life of its own, feeding on the shaken expressions and tears of realization that the women had. The slam of the door may as well have been a whisper.

Violet huffed down the hall to the ladies' restroom to fix her bra and the makeup she had applied. Fifteen minutes later she was at the gorilla waiting to for her music to play. She had a match to win and then she could curl up with a toast and tea and sleep.

The match seemed to last forever. Melina and Alicia were really taking it to the other team. Melina came at Violet with a clothesline, as the screaming woman came at her Violet could see pity and unshed tears in her eyes. Violet managed to dodge the attack and land a few kicks to Melina's legs and torso. With a standing drop kick Violet grabbed Melina and brought her to the corner Kelly was waiting at. Making a tag Violet heard her partner snort," deformed bitch" to which Violet smiled sweetly. Kelly managed to hit the K2 and win the match. The two hugged as they were supposed to but the air froze as they shot daggers at each other through their smiles.

Phil took Violet to get the food she wanted but he made her stay in the car. Feeling too tired she agreed to wait in the car. When they got to the hotel Phil walked her to her room and sat with her as she ate. They kept the conversation light as they both grew tired. With a kiss goodnight the couple parted with plans to spend their free day together the next day.

****The Next Day****

Violet felt great as she flopped down on the bed in Phil's room. Their workout had helped her work off the anger she had been holding onto since the locker room incident. By now everyone knew what had happened but Violet didn't care. She was just starving.

"Hey Phil, what do you say about getting an early dinner and watching some movies or something tonight?" she asked excitedly as she watched the last steams of sunlight fade away from the window.

Phil turned and smiled his approval as he hung up his cellphone," That sounds good, go shower and put on something nice. I wanna make you feel like a princess tonight," he said as he kissed her head and sent her to her room to shower.

After thirty minutes Violet was ready. She was just walking to the door to meet Phil as his text message had asked when there was a knock. She opened it to see her boyfriend holding a single red rose and a large bag of food.

"Wow," Phil breathed as he saw her. Violet felt her face get warm. She wore a simple blood red dress with a black belt that stopped at her knees. On her feet she wore shiny black heels. Her hair was blow dried straight and her makeup was simple wings made with her eyeliner.

"Glad to know that I didn't over dress," Violet said sarcastically with a small smile. Phil stood before her with a black button down shirt and blue jeans that were a bit tighter than normal (Violet said they made his butt look better), and his all black high top Converse. "I'll go change, wait in your room," she said.

"No, I like that you got dressed up for me. I love that I can show you off to all of our friends and say that you're my girlfriend. My beautiful girlfriend," he said as he kissed her cheek and gave her the rose.

She smiled and accepted the flower pinning it in her hair with bobby pins. She grabbed her purse and walked out hand in hand with the Straight-Edge Superstar. They ran into Mike and Melina who were on their way to a movie. Violet got smiles from both of them and a knowing wink from Melina as she pulled Mike away to keep him from staring. Phil's hand tightened over Violet's protectively. They reached a table that Phil had reserved in the middle of the hotel's dining room. Phil laid the food out and Violet smiled as she saw the warm French toast. He had gotten five different flavors and ordered a Pepsi and hot chocolate topped with cinnamon.

"Is there anything more romantic than breakfast as dinner?" Phil asked. "I hope you like it."

"I love it Phil, thank you. Now let's eat, I' m starving," she said as she brought a plate of banana stuffed French toast to her.

The couple ate and talked, sending love filled looks to each other and stealing food from each other's plates. When the meal was done Phil walked with Violet to a nearby park. The warm spring air carried the scent of oranges from the nearby trees and the crescent moon looked bright against the ink colored sky.

"Phil thanks for taking me out tonight."

"The night isn't over yet; let's head back to my room."

Once they made it back to the room Phil lit what seemed like hundreds of candles and turned on a beautiful soundtrack of instrumentals. The sweet notes filled the air around the couple as he took Violet's waist and she put her hands around his neck and they swayed to the sweet music. Phil watched the way her naked lips moved, singing the words that were missing of the new song that played. He smiled as she shook her head at a particularly moving part of the song. At the end of the song Phil dipped her and bringing her back up slowly cupped her cheek and kissed her sweetly and passionately. When they broke apart Phil spoke.

"Violet I want to end this night with you feeling like the princess I know you are but I don't want to push you, so if you feel uncomfortable at any time just tell me and I swear to you I'll stop whatever I'm doing."

He could see the confusion in her eyes but she smiled and said," Okay Phil."

He walked her to the full length mirror and stood behind her. He stroked her arms lightly as he stared at her eyes reflected in the mirror. Slowly his arms trailed up to her shoulder, his fingertips grazing her neck as he began pulling down the zipper to her dress. He slipped the smooth material down her back until it gathered at her waist; he stopped to remove the belt that was stopping him from ridding her of the dress. He stooped to pull the dress down until it was a pool of crimson fabric at her feet; he gently grazed her thigh as he stood to full height behind her once more.

"Someone loves her name sake," he laughed into her neck as he fingered the delicate strap of her dark purple bra with his left hand as he played with the top of matching boy short panties with his right.

"Pretty underwear always makes me feel better and I wore them for you, granted I didn't really expect you to see them but I like dressing up for my man… and you as well Phil," she said with a teasing smirk.

"I'm going to pay you back for that comment."

"Promises, promises," she said with a light laugh.

"You'll see, now let me continue," he said.

He unclasped the bra and pulled it off of her slowly, trying to see if gauge her comfort. In the mirror he saw her head drop, her eyes carefully avoiding the scar. He kissed her neck and lifted her chin gently.

"Your eyes are to never drop with shame ever again, now watch me."

He trailed his fingers down her back, shaking slightly at what he was about to do. He skimmed her stomach as he slid her panties down her legs gently. She stepped out of them, returning her gaze to Phil's reflected in the mirror. She could see his eyes smoldering; the gaze startled her. He stayed quiet for a few minutes, stroking the curve of her waist with his right hand. This was what he always envisioned when he thought of the word 'goddess'. A beautiful woman illuminated by light so all of her beauty could be appreciated.

"Violet Isabelle Daniels, you're beautiful. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known both inside and out. I know you struggle with doubts but they have no legitimacy. Violet, your hair is like silk, the color is like dark chocolate. Your neck is delicate and your shoulders and back are strong enough to bear life's challenges but that doesn't take away from your femininity," at the last statement he palmed the curve of her waist for a moment, letting his fingers enjoy the feel of her smooth skin.

"Your ass is the most perfect ass I have ever seen," he said with a handsomely wicked smile. His words made her face heat up with embarrassment as she felt his hands lightly squeeze her backside.

"Your legs go on for days. They are strong and beautiful. No one else's legs can give kicks like yours and then look as amazing as yours do in flats and heels.

"Your breast is perfect. Perfectly round and firm. Your nipple is so responsive. It's the definition of perfection and all without the silicone," he spoke as he slowly teased the sensitive brown nub, "I just wanted to let you know that you are beautiful to me, whether you two breasts, one, or nine; I love you and I accept you Violet."

Tears were shining in her eyes as she turned to face him. She slipped her arms around him and pulled him close. Her naked form was shaking with emotion as he hugged her back. They embraced for a long time.

Violet spent that night letting Phil know just how much she appreciated what he said. With a new courage she became the goddess Phil thought her to be. When the sun rose that morning, it shined on a couple who moved to new heights in their relationship and on a woman with one breast who never felt better.

-End


End file.
